This actually happened to a co-worked of mine and thought it was too delicious not to share.
One morning an administrative assistant is called into one of her manager's office. Due to high turnover rates, a never-ceasing workload, and having to decipher the nefarious bidding of her two bosses, this A.A. Is on the verge of a mental breakdown. Worried about the possibility of her leaving the position, her boss decides to remedy the situation with an inspirational • and mythological • tale to sooth this A.A.'s ornery soul. The manager relates the tale of Sisyphus • though she couldn't remember the infamous King's name while telling the tale and described it as a “Biblical Tale”. King Sisyphus, for those that are unfamiliar, was a jackass from Greek Mythology who treated everybody like crap was generally hated by everyone. He defied the Gods and tricked them on more than one occasion. When it was time for him to die, he tried to cheat death, some bullcrap went down, and some gods got pissed. As punishment, Sisyphus is forever doomed to push up this ridiculously heavy boulder up a hill only to have the boulder fall to the bottom as he is about to reach the top. The manager patted this A.A. on the back • while simultaneously giving herself a mental pat on the back for a job well done • and sends the ornery and now confused A.A. back to her desk.
The A.A. walks through the office not sure what just happened and makes her way over to the other A.A.s who are enjoying their 15 minutes break by congregating around one of their desks and gossiping. Heads Up • whenever A.A.s gather in one spot together, managers, be nervous. She then proceeds to tell us the entire story. Without missing a beat, one of the A.A.s known for her sassiness and general fortitude pipes in with:
“Wait a second what the hell is she trying to tell you. That either your workload is like some crushing boulder that is ultimately going to beat you down or that she is god, you were a mean female doggy, woof woof! *gigglez* :3 and now you are currently being punished in hell?”
The other A.A.s nod in agreement at the sheer ridiculousness of the tale while simultaneously remembering old pep talks that were given to them. I am pissed off more by her misuse of the tale then what her tale insinuates. I chime in with:
“Dear managers, if you are going to use an allegory as an analogy to provide some solace to the COMPLETE NERVOUS BREAKDOWN I am about to have, please make sure that you are using said analogy appropriately, or if at all possible, not liken yourself to God at some point in the conversation, Love Ginger ”